I've got some bad bad medicine

Time for a big change

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 03:13:50 GMT

It's been one year....exactly one year since I had a really good day. I'll probably never forget that day for the rest of my life because it was a monumental day. Unfortunately, it will live in my memory forever as the end of an era.

Enough though. It's been an entirely brutal year for many reasons but it's time for me to make the necessary changes to have a better and happier life.

I don't know what they all are yet. I'll keep me posted, lol. Hope everyone has a good holiday season and finds those things that make you all happy!!!

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 04:14:21 GMT

So , it's only been FOREVER since I actually posted anything. Yes, my life really is that boring, haha! But I'm trying really hard to stay in the positives so maybe posting more will make me keep on that track.

This year has been especially difficult but it is slowly starting to come together. I have been working hard at trying to get where I want to be in my life. I have been making an effort to get out and see friends a little more than I was. I think I was only a couple months away from earning my "official hermit" card. I was missing my friends alot though so hopefully I'll get out to see them more.

I think (by choice) I may just end up being single forever. I can't seem to find any interest in dating or being around someone for any length of time. I think my heart is pretty damaged though. I have huge walls around even thinking about being with someone. I just can't see myself doing it. At least not until I'm in a better head and heart space. Definitely not where I thought I'd end up when i was younger considering I always wanted to be with that special woman. Now I just don't know that she is out there anymore. Or she is and I already had her and she's gone now, lol. It's not really a sad thing. I'm content with it, I cannot deal with the drama of it all. If someday something comes along that is relaxed I may give it a chance, who knows.

Thank god for music or might have gone insane a long time ago!!!

Went to my cousin's wedding this past weekend in High River and it was fun. The DJ kind of sucked but seeing as I am a DJ I'm pretty critical. But really, 4 MJ songs in a row....dude let it go. It was nice to see some of my aunts and uncles that I dont see very often. There was some serious eye candy there....hey I may not want to date but I can look and appreciate, lol. I was just glad the wind storm died down before I drove back to Calgary.

Ok, off to see if I can find anything else to cure my boredom.....

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 23:17:19 GMT

Taken from loverofunreason

* Go to musicoutfitters.com
* Enter the year you graduated from (high) school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year
* Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember (or don't care about)

1. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You, Bryan Adams
2. I Wanna Sex You Up, Color Me Badd
3. Gonna Make You Sweat, C+C Music Factory
4. Rush Rush, Paula Abdul
5. One More Try, Timmy T
6. Unbelievable, EMF
7. More Than Words, Extreme
8. I Like The Way (The Kissing Game), Hi-Five
9. The First Time, Surface
10. Baby, Baby, Amy Grant
11. Motownphilly - Boyz II Men
12. Because I Love You (The Postman Song), Stevie B
13. Someday, Mariah Carey
14. High Enough, Damn Yankees
15. ~~From A Distance, Liette Midler~~
16. ~~All The Man That I Need, Whitney Houston~~
17. Right Here, Right Now, Jesus Jones
18. I Adore Mi Amor, Color Me Badd
19. Love Will Never Do (Without You), Janet Jackson
20. Good Vibrations, Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch Featuring Loleatta Holloway
21. Justify My Love, Madonna
22. Emotions, Mariah Carey
23. Joyride, Roxette
24. ~~Romantic, Karyn White~~
25. ~~I Don't Wanna Cry, Mariah Carey~~
26. Hold You Tight, Tara Kemp
27. You're In Love, Wilson Phillips
28. Every Heartbeat, Amy Grant
29. ~~Sensitivity, Ralph Tresvant~~
30. Touch Me (All Night Long), Cathy Dennis
31. I've Been Thinking About You, Londonbeat
32. Do Anything, Natural Selection
33. Losing My Religion, R.E.M.
34. ~~Coming Out Of The Dark. Gloria Estefan~~
35. Here We Go. C+C Music Factory
36. It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over, Lenny Kravitz
37. ~~Where Does My Heart Beat Now, Celine Dion~~
38. Summertime, D.J. Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
39. Wind Of Change, Scorpions
40. P.A.S.S.I.O.N., Rhythm Syndicate
41. ~~The Promise Of A New Day, Paula Abdul~~
42. I'm Your Baby Tonight, Whitney Houston
43. Love Of A Lifetime, Firehouse
44. Fading Like A Flower (Every Time You Leave), Roxette
45. This House, Tracie Spencer
46. Hole Hearted, Extreme
47. ~~Power Of Love-Love Power, Luther Vandross~~
48. Impulsive, Wilson Phillips
49. ~~Love Is A Wonderful Thing, Michael Bolton~~
50. Rhythm Of My Heart, Rod Stewart
51. Things That Make You Go Hmmmm..., C+C Music Factory
52. I Touch Myself, Divinyls
53. Tom's Diner, DMA
54. Iesha, Another Bad Creation
55. ~~Something To Talk About, Bonnie Raitt~~
56. After The Rain, Nelson
57. ~~Play That Funky Music, Vanilla Ice~~
58. Temptation, Corina
59. Can't Stop This Thing We Started, Bryan Adams
60. ~~I Can't Wait Another Minute, Hi-Five~~
61. 3 A.M. Eternal, The KLF
62. ~~Time, Love and Tenderness, Michael Bolton~~
63. Saideness Part I, Enigrna
64. Around The Way Girl, LL Cool J
65. I'll Be There, Escape Club
66. Cream, Prince and The N.P.G.
67. Now That We Found Love, Heavy D. and The Boyz
68. Show Me The Way, Styx
69. Love Takes Time, Mariah Carey
70. ~~Cry For Help, Rick Astley~~
71. The Way You Do The Things You Do, UB40
72. Here I Am (Come and Take Me), UB40
73. Signs, Tesla
74. Too Many Walls, Cathy Dennis
75. Crazy, Seal
76. ~~I'll Give All My Love To You, Keith Sweat~~
77. Place In This World, Michael W. Smith
78. Something To Believe In, Poison
79. Wicked Game, Chris Issak
80. ~~Get Here, Oleta Adams~~
81. ~~Round and Round, Tevin Campbell~~
82. Silent Lucidity, Queensryche
83. I'm Not In Love, Will To Power
84. Piece Of My Heart, Tara Kemp
85. Real Real Real, Jesus Jones
87. Just Another Dream, Cathy Dennis
88. ~~Everybody Plays The Fool, Aaron Neville~~
88. Strike It Up, Black Box
89. Rico Suave, Gerardo
90. Disappear, INXS
91. Groove Is In The Heart, Deee-Lite
92. All This Time, Sting
93. The One and Only, Chesney Hawkes
94. O.P.P., Naughty By Nature
95. Freedom 90, George Michael
96. I Saw Red, Warrent
97. Miles Away, Winger
98. Do You Want Me, Salt-N-Pepa
99. The Motown Song, Rod Stewart
100. Shiny Happy People, R.E.M.

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:11:55 GMT

I havent posted forever. Life has been incredibly busy over the past few months and I still read and check LJ most every day, I just never feel like I have much to say but really alot has happened since my last update. So where to start....

Work is really starting to get moving, I'm not getting many clients yet but alot of the administrative work is all done and that's really the part I need to get done to focus on everything....for the few on here who don't know, I'm a mortgage broker now so if you know anyone that needs a mortgage, contact me and I'll get you my phone information! lol....hawking myself on LJ...awesome

I won a bunch of money playing online poker over the last couple months. That's been a bit of a godsend because its afforded me the time to get things going with work (which is all commission) and made life much easier through the upcoming Christmas season. I made my one big personal purchase last week and got a new 42 inch TV...yay, no more tube TV. Paid off a credit card completely which was nice and paid down some other loans.

On the topic of Christmas, this year will be a little strange considering my grandpa passed away in late July. Since I can remember we always spent christmas eve at his house (my grandma passed away in 90) So this year its all about starting new traditions and it's going to be a bit of a sombre experience but at the same time it will be nice to get with the family and remember my grandpa this year and move forward to the future.

My personal life has had quite the year to be honest. In my last post I talked about a girl I had been dating and it had broken off. Well we have since reconnected and started talking again and things are at a good place right now. We are not together at the moment but we are very close and the possibility does exist of a future together. I learned alot about myself when I was with her before and I think we actually needed to go through this to find out if our feelings and love for each other could survive the circumstances we are surrounded with. Right now, I'm just helping her through a tough situation and we will see what the future holds but I'm just happy for now that I didn't lose someone who is a very good friend and I have been close with for the last six years. We've had some really good times together lately and for now it's just a day to day to see where our road will lead.

I actually went out to her house today and we had a "mini grey cup" party with her kids (who couldnt care less about football, lol) but it was fun. We made wings and nachos and just had a really good time, then we watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall( which for the record, I love). We've had some really honest conversations over the past week and I do hope that we can have something but that something will not be something we can commit to for the next little while. All we can really do is enjoy any time we do get together.

We also went to a couple Flames games over the past few weeks. I won tickets on Pokerstars for the colorado game last tuesday and it was soooo much fun. We got a catered dinner before the game and free drinks. Talked to the president of the team and then after the game we got autographed Kiprusoff framed pictures.

All in all , life is pretty good right now. The upcoming new year is filled with lots of exciting new challenges and some new hopes and dreams.

I do have a friend who's went a little MIA on me and I miss her. I hope she knows I still want to keep in contact and I hope to catch up with her soon :) If you read this you should really send me an email to my foofighter account and let me know how things are!

The Beginning

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 08:11:47 GMT

Okay, so August was a fucking shitty month for the most part. This past long weekend marked the beginning of the rest of my life....I hope. I want everything in my life to change and I've made great strides to get there. I finished my mortgage broker course in just over 1 month (they give you a year to finish it, lol) and passed my test with a 91%. That was the only real good part of the month and that will get me to the future I want. I'm about to immerse myself in new work starting soon but really getting into it in October when I get licensed. The prospects of working my ass off and making some serious money are staring me in the face and I want nothing more than to get to my goal of being "caught up" financially within the next two years. It's easy to accomplish if I put in some serious hard work over the next little while. I'll be working with one of my best friends and she's excited about getting me trained and working together to benefit both of us.

The shitty side was having my grandpa pass away at the end of July and having to deal with death for the first part of the month. I've come to terms with it. He lived a good life, mostly healthy and was successful with a good family. You can't really ask for more than that in life.

I also had a falling out with the girl I was dating. Sometimes life can sure get in the way of of something that had the potential to be fantastic. In reality I got into a situation that had only a small chance of succeeding and unfortunately we didn't make it. Now I have the unenviable task of trying to figure out if we can even salvage our five year friendship. I don't really know if it's possible but I guess we'll see. I'm just trying to get through the mourning stage of losing her because I truly love her with all my heart and I know that she actually does love me we just got together at the absolute wrong time and may never find our way too each other again. That prospect makes me sad but if it was really ever meant to be it can only happen when we are both in better head spaces. I dealt with so much stress and insecurity though with her all of August. It sucks because we were growing sooooo close to each other. All I can do is move on though and make my life better and see where I can direct my future. I'm not going to let life drag me along anymore. I'm going to make the life I want without procrastinating or feeling like the universe owes me something.

So now begins the new journey into a future full of unknowns but also full of hope and renewed optimism for what I can accomplish with will and determination. I need to be better in my own life so that when my opportunity arises to be with someone again I'm in a better position to be able to put myself into with the vigor that I once had when I was younger. No more will I wait for it to just come to me. I will make it happen.

This is my mission statement....so sayeth Jerry Maguire.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 02:23:57 GMT

So my grandfather had a heart attack yesterday while he was out golfing. He was taken to the hospital in Claresholm(little town an hour from Calgary) and then taken to the Foothills hospital where they assessed that he had 100%, 100%, 80 and 75% blockage in the heart. They had to do a triple bypass surgery today and although he made it through surgery, the next 48 hours seem critical to him actually making a recovery or not. They had some problems with bleeding and tearing of the heart that took a lot of stitches to fix apparently. He is 79 years old though, so it was to be expected a little. I was at the hospital all day with mom and she was good most of the day until the doctor told us all the news. I'm guessing right now its about 50-50 he's going to survive the surgery. Its very sad but at the same time I realize this is the life cycle. Things like this unfortunately happen and as much as I dont want him to die, i know that he led a fantastic life and raised a big happy family.

These days suck.

Yesterday was a much better day. Well at least until i found out about the heart attack.

I'll quickly blog it so I can remember it later. I went to the splash park with my friend and her kids. It was soooo much fun. I really am a big kid at heart so it was easy for me to go and have fun with them and be able to hang out with her at the same time. I'm not even going to do it justice with words how great it was but suffice to say I'm happy that it went as well as it did.

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:19:35 GMT

Well, life is good. In fact life is really good. No, wait....life as of this day is fucking FANTASTIC!!!!

I've decided to do my mortgage broker course by correspondence instead of classroom because its cheaper and I have friends who are brokers that can help if necessary. To be honest, I highly doubt I will need their help at all. I should have the books by the end of next week and should be ready to write the exam by the end of August. Then I have a few other things to do. I'm going to need to get a criminal check, which is required for registration as a broker. I also need to buy a bunch of shit I cant afford but I'm sure one way or another I'll figure out how to get it. I need to buy a new laptop, a printer, eventually I'll also need a desk, oh and I need to open a business account once I actually create an incorporated company, which costs like 700 bucks!!! fuck, starting this is expensive but will all pay off in the end! A friend of mine has offered to help me get started and train me and then we can work together which is hard to find a "partner" in this industry because most people are greedy and out for themselves.

So, to most of my friends on here, I haven't actually spilled my entire situation with "the girl" but there is a reason for that. All I want to say at this point is that things between us are fantastic, the situation we are in still kinda sucks but the day will come soon when we will be able to actually be together the way we both want. The way we both know now for certain that we should have been five years ago. This woman is the woman that I have dreamed of all my life. She is the woman I WILL spend the rest of my life loving. I know it. More than I've ever known anything.

We had a great night tonight. She came with me to my weekend work (karaoke) and we had a few drinks, sang, danced and just generally got a chance to be close to each other. I hate that its 5:15AM and she's not here anymore. I cant wait for the day when there is no going to a different home. I really just wish I was already asleep and had my arms wrapped around her and knew that she would still be there in the morning.

12 days smoke free.....I'm actually impressed that I've done this well. Actually impressed, is the wrong word. More like shocked. Considering I had smoked since I was about 15 (well 17 I really started daily smoking), but still, half my life was spent as a smoker and now I'm starting life as a non-smoker. Its been great so far, very very few actual cravings and I havent had a headache since I stopped. I dont ever want to take it up again!

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 06:22:21 GMT

I'm slightly pathetic...actually I'm really pathetic, but when it comes to love, honestly i dont care. We are at that stage right now where EVERYTHING feels new and exciting and if most people heard any of our actual conversations they'd probably hurl right there. I really dont care though, I love her......In fact I love her so much , that I already know I will marry this woman. Of course it doesnt hurt that we have five years of very strong friendship and pushed aside feelings to guide us as well. I've loved this girl for over five years and she's done the same, we just never did it together (well we did for awhile at the beginning, but thats another story). Sometimes the world and circumstances just never line up until the timing is really right.

Its finally right. That makes me stupid happy!!

Everything in my life is changing so much. I've gotten most of the paperwork done and sent in to register for my course. I've started eating soooo much better. I've been sleeping really well the past month or so and best of all......I havent smoked at all since Monday morning. I resolved awhile ago that I would quit by my birthday (which is in October). The timing though is right for this. I really want to be healthy again. I want to live a life that will give me the chance to actually grow old with "the love of my life". I want to have a career that I'm actually happy in, not one where I get bored after a year or two and move on. I want to be stable and I want to have the happy life I dreamed I would have at this stage of my life. I need to be a grown up.

There is a lot of change going on in my life. I sure hope the world (and my friends) are ready for the new me!

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:48:34 GMT

I so wish I never had to go home!!! I'm at my parents house right now and they are away in Aruba so I have a nice big house all to myself. I LOVE IT!!! Of course it would be a little better if I had someone to share it with, especially the brand spanking new hottub. I think I need a nap now, the hottub made me sleepy!!

Back to reality tomorrow, noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 19:19:50 GMT

fuck....

fuck.....

FUCK!!!!!!!!!1..........

WHY IS THIS "KISSED A GIRL" SONG SO CATCHY!!!!!!!

MARY LISTEN TO THIS SONG

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 16:53:33 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN0nJuXL9n8

Let me know if you like it...

oh anyone else can listen if you're bored too, you have probably heard it on the radio.

Whoa.....

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:54:20 GMT

This weekend was crazy....and difficult to get through.

I started Friday by waking up with an intense migraine(that pretty much persisted right up until Sunday evening). I threw up five times from it on Friday and still had to head down to do karaoke at night. I know TMI but get over it. I almost threw up in my car on the way down there. That sucked. I thought i was going to have to use the toque I still had in my car. Luckily, I didnt and survived the rest of the night, although in considerable pain.

It was extremely busy friday night and quite a lot of fun even though I was suffering. I had a definite distraction there. A very long story about this girl but suffice to say I had some fun, even though technically, I'm not supposed to be able to have fun with her......yes....I could be more vague.

The worst part of it though is that I fell in love with her five years ago and those feelings have apparently never really went away. The unfortunate part is that right now, i cant be with her the way that either of us would like. Fuck....sometimes having to be responsible and not selfish is the hardest thing in the world to do.

Saturday was slooooooow at work. Apparently most of the regulars were at a big dance or a birthday bash, so I spent most of the night hanging with a few ladies that came in and having a few drinks. There was this crazy Polish woman there, who was HAMMERED and trying extremely hard to have me take her home. Sometimes I'm not sure where I get the strength to say no because really, I am single. However, it was much easier after Friday and for the fact that I hate hate hate being with someone who is drunk, let alone as drunk as she was. I have to share what she said to me because I still cant believe I ever actually heard these words come out of her mouth. For the record, she was physically attractive, if not a complete turn-off from the drinking.

So anyway...in my best online Polish accent/half broken English....she says

"I want you to fuck me in my cunt...."

Yeah that's right, she used the C word. I swear to god at that moment I started looking around for the hidden cameras, thinking this had to be a joke. So after that, I tried mostly to keep my distance which was hard because there wasnt many people there. Thankfully, her friends decided to finally leave about a half hour after that and we got her out the door and off home. It was surreal at best but at least made for some entertainment on an otherwise boring evening.

Anyway's time to get to bed, its already to late and I have so much to get done tomorrow.

Tell all your friends!!!!!

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:10:28 GMT

For any of my friends who might be interested, Coldplay is offering their new single for free for one week.....

go to Coldplay.com, you'll be able to get a link sent to you. The link is only good for six hours, so you have to get it asap after you register for it.

The song is called Violet Hill and will be on their upcoming album, I just heard it, its freaking awesome!!!

bad bad curtis

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 07:04:03 GMT

This weekend was ..... for lack of a better term ..... crazy.

Friday night, I worked as usual, doing karaoke and DJing. I dont want to overly elaborate what exactly happened but I met a woman who was......really really horny, lol. She basically came on to me so fast I had no idea what was even happening and before I knew it, I found myself doing things that I havent done in a long time. But as Bill Clinton said....I did not have sexual relations with that woman but I sure had some an interesting evening, in the back of her vehicle.

Saturday was a fun night, not quite as eventful as Friday but still a good night. I did get to see some nice breasts, lol. I even got to touch them. Can you tell its been a few months, lmao.

If only every weekend was this interesting.

*yes i know I sound like a total man-slut, but hey you gotta have fun every once in awhile and I didnt do anything that could get me into "trouble". Just good clean adult fun.

so not doing my favorite thing today

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:49:54 GMT

I hate cleaning.......I need to clean. Man will I be happy when I'm done. I figure if i do it slowly and take lots of breaks it wont feel so much like cleaning. Of course if I went quicker it would be done faster.

I hate cleaning.

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:57:50 GMT

Going home to my parents always makes me feel better. It was so relaxing to just hang out for a few days....plus i get to do laundry for free, lol. I cleaned my car out and it feels brand new again, I watched curling with my mom(she's a nut for curling), went to the casino with my dad and hung with my brother who was down. He just bought a new truck that he was VERY proud of, it was pretty funny. Every hour he had to go for a drive, lol.

The even better part was that for some reason I sleep incredibly well at my parents. I was fighting so hard to get back to normal sleep patterns and ONE night there accomplished that. I was in bed by midnight and up before 8 both nights i was there and even when I got home last night Im now feeling better.

When i was cleaning my car I found my runners which i thought I lost(which really made me wonder, where I would lose shoes and not notice I didnt have any)so now I'm really going to have to make the effort to start being more active. Its not something I can put off anymore, I shouldnt have been putting it off as long as I was. I feel REALLY unhealthy right now. I should probably quit smoking soon too. That one will be tougher. But I can do it....soon.

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:46:49 GMT

It's official....I'm bored. I'm also extremely tired because I've spent this whole week trying to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. So i've stayed awake for the daytime for the most part but I havent been able to sleep much at night. I only slept 4 hours last night and I've been up since 3AM. I'm trying to fight through it though because I really want to be more productive during the day. Plus, God willing, I'll get good news from the girl at the bank and hopefully have a job again soon. I feel so close to having a real life again and im tired of being cooped up in the house.

TV sucks. All the shows I watch have no new episodes because of the writers strike. The only one I get to see is Jericho( and I think they are done next week). I sure hope some new eppys are made before end of season. Oh and thanks for Days....my one hour of escape a day.

Girls....oh girls. What can I say? I'm currently interested in two. Its such a horrid process though. One girl gave me her number almost two weeks ago, she had been flirting with me for like three consecutives Fridays when i was working. So I called last week, heard nothing back. Then I called again and left messages on cell and home. Still nothing. I might be sweatin' it a little early but if you didnt want me to call why even bother giving me your number AFTER showing interest. The other girl, its more laid back, I've been talking with her on msn for the past three weeks. I've known her for quite awhile and there seems to be some sort of connection but it could easily just be a friend vibe. I'm not really thinking about that too much, if something happens with her I think it will take a more natural life of its own, considering I've known her for a couple year. We never really got to know each other that well , except for the past few weeks though. Whatever happens though, its all good, and I have definitely learned my lesson from some recent mistakes in the dating world.

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 15:56:13 GMT

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
Well, I never licked it per se, but i have used spit to clean a CD when I needed to .

2. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
7 years

3. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yep.....hit the ditch once in minus 20 weather, had to walk for an hour and a half at 5 in the morning. We tried to get snow plows to pick us up but they wouldnt so we attempted to get arrested by pulling down a sign but it was too cold. That night sucked!!

4. Were you popular in school?
Yeah I guess, I went to a small school and I knew almost everyone since grade 1 and I played hockey and baseball so I got the jock vote.

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Yeah...what a fricken disaster. She was unbelievably annoying and what made it worse was she REALLY liked me.

6. Are looks important?
Yes....but like Britt said, its subjective, only I need to be attracted, I dont need a beauty queen to impress my friends.

7. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
Yeah, a couple......and with facebook even more now, lol

8. By what age would you like to be married?
Can I get a wayback machine for this one?

9. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?
Not really......I still love my brother......he was a man whore

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
Maybe in taking this meme.

11. Are you a good tipper?
Nope

12. What is the most you have spent for a haircut?
thank god im a guy, I think the most I spent was 45 dollars and that's when I went blonde, a friend gave me a deal.

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
oh yeah.....Ms. Letz(french teacher, she didnt wear underwear.....seriously) and Ms. Roy.....she was so hot and in grade six i actually saw her naked on a camping trip.......wow i wish i had been older, lmao

14. Have you ever peed in public?
Does this really require an answer.

15. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
All you can eat buffet, so i could just keep going and never be executed.

16. Beatles or Stones?
Beatles.

17. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
Beer and hard liquore but never EVER at the same time again

18. Do you have any phobias?
heights, snakes, prolly a couple others i dont like to think about

19. What are your plans for the future?
Learning to be an adult

20. Do you walk around the house naked?
Yes. i'm naked right now

21. If you were an animal what would you be?
anything that doesnt get hunted

22. Hair color you like on someone you're dating?
Dont care....but i sure hope they at least have hair

23. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
I dont like either answer of course, but I'd go with deaf(not hearing music would suck) but at least i could see and communicate through sign language. Never seeing again woiuld be horrible.

24. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
throw my keys on the floor....so i always know where they are

25. Do you like horror or comedy?
How bout horror/comedy, like Shawn of the Dead, lol... actually I'd probably take comedy as first choice

26. Are you missing anyone?
Sort of, but most of the people closest to me I talk to or see pretty often

26. Where do you want to live when you are old?
anywhere but an old folks home

27. Who is the person you can count on the most?
I'd have to say Steve, in a crunch that guy will do anything

28. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?
Lauren Graham

29. What did you dream last night?
I was racing cars through city streets.

30. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Hockey.

31. Are you named after anyone?
My middle name is my dad's name

32. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Snowball....but i havent had one forever

33. Non alcoholic drink?
Diet Coke

34. Have you ever been in love?
Yes and i miss it

35. Do you sing in the shower?
Every time, hell I sing all the time anyways

36. Have you ever been arrested?
No...almost once, divine intervention saved me and taught me a lesson.

37. Would you ever get plastic surgery?
If only for health reasons....but i could just stop being lazy too

38. Have you ever caught a fish?
yes, but its been years since i went fishing

39. What is your Moms best friend's name?
Joyce

40. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
;-)
41. What body part do you wash first?
arms and chest

42. Do you have any piercings?
Nope, never

43. Do you have an innie or an outtie?
innie, but if you go lower, its an outtie

44. What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
BBQ

45. Have you ever been tied up?
No

46. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?
throwing rocks at cars on the highway

47. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
No

48. How many times have you been cussed out?
I didnt realize i was supposed to keep track of that

49. Which shoe do you put on first?
Left, always the left

50. How old are you?
34

51. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

52. Is there one thing all of your ex's have had in common?
they're girls!

53. Are you friends with any of your ex's?
Yes

54. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
yes, i went cow tipping once, it didnt work and for the record, cows dont like being pushed

55. Who is the last person you think about before you fall asleep?
Me

56. Have you ever found anything gross in your parent's bedroom?
No thank god

57. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
last week at karaoke

58. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room?
Every day for like two years, lol....um....jk

59. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
well technically I wasnt the one doing it!

59. When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt?
whats a gym......oh..............GIME

60. Name something you do when you're alone?
sing

61. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
not sure, i dont get drunk often

62. Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt?
I've NEVER been that drunk

63. How often do you clean out your ears?
about twice a week.

64. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?
scrunch

65. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar?
Some nights the stupidest thing i did was even go to the bar. *cue circus music

66. Have you ever gotten caught farting while on a date?
No.....and even if i had I'd never admit it, I'd blame it on her, lol

67. Have you ever been drunk at work?
Yes

68. Have you ever found your gf/bf's sibling more attractive?
No

69. Do you want to bring sexy back?
that's been done, i want to bring geeky back

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 11:30:52 GMT

Sometimes life is just so full of curveballs you cant help but hit one once in awhile right? Well im still really waiting for that to happen right now. I'm actually fairly content though. I've been focusing on getting more active, in my social life with friends and my health. Both are good things. Now im starting to focus on my mental. I've started by focusing on getting rid of the "dead weight" in my life. People or things that are almost more destructive for me and really have no significant value to the improvement of my life in general.

A few things have happened in the past few months that make me really realize I cannot stay on my current path for much longer. I had become my own worst enemy and shut out people who were really important to me. Now one of them is gone. My responsibility in the matter is 100%. Its a mistake Im not happy with and I know I must learn from it or I'm doomed to repeat it if and when I try to get into another relationship.

I really do love all of my close friends. I want to make a concerted effort to show them that I do appreciate them and care for them all. I distanced myself horrendously from some of them for so long I hope its not too late to mend some fences. At the same time, I dont have the desire to carry on friendships that are acquantance like in nature. They are too time consuming to bother with when they really dont add much to my life. I need to care about me with that energy and stop trying to have a bunch of semi-friends. I want my close friends, that bring positive energy, to be the ones I focus on going forward. It may be a small circle but it is a very important group of people that i must learn to accept the support they provide to me. As well, I need to be there for them when the time is required.

I want to be ME again.....

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 18:45:17 GMT

Merry Christmas to All!!! Have a safe and wonderful time and see ya in the new year.

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 16:49:13 GMT

I havent been sleeping well lately. That's what doing nothing does to you. Oh well, sleeping pills it is. Not much new to report. Christmas looms on the horizon already and im looking forward to that just to see my little nieces and nephews, they're soooo cute. I am feeling optimistic about job opps though. Sent a lot of resumes online in the last few days and Im sure hoping I hear something soon. Moneys' tight but not too bad, it'll just be nice to have a back up of some cash again.

Alot of my life feels up in the air right now. I know Im hurting someone I care about but Im so focused on me right now I dont know how to change that. Maybe I just need to be more communicative.

Well, time to get back to looking for more jobs online. Hope all is well with my friends left here.

Oh and I just had the strangest experience with facebook. A girl I first met online 10 years ago and then dated when she came here found me. Weird to have a blast from the past get in touch. She's married now and happy so at least I wont have to worry about her being a psycho stalker, lol....

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 06:06:39 GMT

Well I guess I should commemorate the first snowfall of the year by making a little post. I dont have a lot to say right now. Life is kinda boring. I find myself wondering if its time to take the step and maybe think about shaking my life up with something major. Such as moving. I dont know, it would take a lot of thinking and then deciding where I might even want to go but right now and for the last couple years really, I just feel like I've been spinning my wheels in the mud. Going nowhere.

Something needs to change and I need to be the one to make it happen. Gameplans are being drawn up I just dont know which way I want to go yet. All I know is that everything needs to be change soon, I want things to be in place to start the new year in good shape emotionally. Right now, im blah. Not really all there. Not motivated enough and that is the biggest problem. I might need to consider counselling or some motivational speeches. I wonder if Matt Foley is available(for those who dont know who I refer to , check youtube).

I think first I need to love me more. Stop being stupid and selfish and be stronger. All around.

Oh yeah , its snowing.

This cracks me up

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 17:27:39 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oz8-kmW5QU

hmmm...

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 06:29:38 GMT

Im not sure I remember how this thing works, its been so long, lol. Now most of my friends are gone from here but I still have a couple so they'll be surprised to see i wrote anything.

Life has been just ........ going.....for lack of a better word. I dont really like it that way and I know in my heart I have to get serious about it or I'm going to be stuck in serious trouble in the future. Job hunting hasnt been going well and I think im going to have to expand my search outside of mortgage brokering for now. I dont want to take a job that is beneath me at this point though because it will just feel like a step backwards. I have to get my ass in gear and do something that will better my life for the future. Maybe its because my birthday is approaching (the 17th) and im just sooooo far away from where I feel I should be at this point in life. But I take the responsibility, it really is my own fault and I need to rectify that ASAP.

other than that , im fairly happy. My relationship is going fairly well and Im happy to be with someone who makes me feel so great and special. I realize that I want to be with someone that has the future in mind and I think I have found that, now I just need to make the future happen by being invested myself towards the goal of growing with someone.

I've been pretty seperated from my friends lately. I dont really know why, I just feel a little like a hermit lately but that is something I need to change also. I dont want to feel so cut off from the world. Hell, if i didnt work in a pub on weekends I probably would barely have any human contact.

My brother is coming tomorrow to stay for the night before he flies out to BC to pick up his kid, it will be good to see him, its been almost a year. Jesus time flies way too fast.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 18:33:11 GMT

I am currently living in Stressville...population ME.

So many things going on right now , its crazy. One of the biggest is I'm getting antsy about being in Calgary. Lately, living here doesnt feel so much like home anymore. Im not even sure why. Maybe I just need a vacation or getaway to rejuvenate but right now it feels like major stress. I think the growing this city is doing is starting to grate on me. I want the small town feel back.

I'm also stressed about work, its kind of a long story but I may have a problem with getting licensed for selling mutual funds which is a requirement of my position and I may not have any way around it. Im thinking about possibly taking the mortgage brokering course at mount royal and kind of switching goals but staying in the industry.

Lastly Im dealing with a sudden increase in interest in me. There are currently a couple of girls in my life who have shown an interest in dating and possibly growing a relationship. I've been out of the game so long I find it very confusing. I'm not the kind of guy to date more than one girl and I know in my heart I want to find someone who I can have a meaningful relationship with. I just have to sort my feelings out and see where that all goes. Everything feels like it crushing me at once. Im not sure how much more I can handle without needing a timeout in the mental institution.